Fairchild, I was raised a JW but was never baptized. I left when I was 18 and it has been over 20 years that I have been away from it. During that time I went through cycles of disbelief, being p.o.'d at God, apathy, you name it.
I think its like what people always tell you about romance, when you try to force it, that doesn't work, and when you least expect it romance blooms. I think being spiritual can be the same way, when you try and force it, or think it has to be a certain way, the more you try the farther you get away from it. I think maybe just trying to be and let your spirituality come naturally is a much better way to go.